theres this local editor/comedy guy- always invites me to things and when i get there, always ignores me. he’s leaving for los angeles on wed and made me feel guilty about not showing up to his things. he invited me tonight but -eh. idk..sometimes I ignore him too just because it always felt like he was an outsider and not cool…most people in the local improv scene didn’t like him and i certainly didn’t help him feel welcomed because i wanted to fit in…He wasn’t a bad guy just wanted to do things his own way -kinda like me. now that I’m on a break from the local scene, i want to be friend him and go tonight but the same thing would probably happen. He’s nice enough to buy me a drink tonight, but I will just get ignored or make some kind of awkward silence when I tell them I’ve stopped doing the one thing we had to talk about? We’ve always had a weird relationship and I only want to continue it because of his connections and we get each other on some level basically. I will miss having that kind of person around. As far as improv goes, I might pick it up again if I move to a more cultured city but I’m not sure when that is. I really want that artistic community feeling I’ve always read about that is associated with it. AND my life is a huge wreck and I’m a shell of a man..you know grown up stuff.
I don’t think I was ever good enough to begin with…my troupe coach said i was on his team BECAUSE I was good enough but the editor dude was ‘good’ too and everyone always talked shit about him and hated his work.